Men and women have the power to influence the behavior of each other.
But for so many women, they find it challenging to use that feminine power over using their masculine power. Many women have found it easier to work their way to success by hustling and grinding. This path to success is masculine and it seems like this is the default for personal power. However, tis can bring in a lot of problems for many women and would eventually lead her to experience burn out faster.
Some women have harnessed their personal feminine power and used it to their advantage to win in their homes, work and personal relationships. Katherine Woodward Thomas, Arielle Ford, Marianne Williamson, Lisa Nichols have found success by operating in their feminine power. And it’s not because of the nature of the industry that they are into but more into the way they operate their businesses. When you understand the polarity of the masculine and feminine energy, if you understand feminine power, you will be able to identify the patterns they use to grow their business.
So what is feminine power?
There isn’t one general definition of feminine power. But most people who speak of using feminine power had given it their own meaning.
Feminine power is a combination of authority and softness. You can command a room yet be vulnerable and soft at the same time.
Feminine power is intuitive. A woman instinctively knows when something isn’t right just by listening to her body.
Feminine power is collaborative. Women look for their tribe. We need our tribe to lift up one another, to inspire each other and to help each other grow.
I have listed a comparison of traits what feminine power can bring balance to the masculine below.
How do you tap into feminine power ?
1. Take it slow.
Create the space for yourself. You can’t tap into your feminine power when you are racing. Hustling and grinding is masculine. Feminine power is taking things at a pace that you are most comfortable with because we do not compete. The masculine power does.
2. Listen to your intuition.
You can only listen to your intuition, your body once you’ve created the space to be still. You won’t be able to hear anything. The world is already noisy and if you don’t take the time to be still, you won’t be able to listen to your intuition. Intuition as mentioned above is a feminine characteristic that is the very heart of feminine power. Meditation can help you get in tune with your intuition.
3. Own yourself.
All of it. This is how you create the balance. Because we women are afraid of being seen as weak, especially if we’ve had traumatic or painful experiences in the past, we try to put on this façade of strength. We operate in the masculine energy. By doing this, we lose our power. You can be both strong and feminine at the same time. Soft on the outside, strong on the inside.
4. Nurture yourself.
In other words, learn how to prioritize self-care. Pamper yourself. Light candles, have leisure bubble baths, book a massage. Do things that do not require you to give nurturing but also to receive nurturing. Vibrate your highest self.
5. Speak your truth.
If you do not operate in alignment of who you really are, you will notice that you get frequent headaches, and eventually, burn out. Avoid being too apologetic for who you really are. Show the world how awesome you are even with your flaws.
6. Be creative.
Creativity is feminine energy. When was the last time you were creative? Write songs, paint, write. Do something that brings out your creativity and your feminine power unfolds.
Working on becoming the best version of your feminine self is what will inspire a man to give the world to you. But attracting a man isn’t the only thing we need our feminine power or feminine energy for. You can also use your feminine energy in your career, business and in other areas of your life.
The world will benefit a lot when everyone can tap into their feminine energy as much as they tap into their masculine.
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
Do these words ring a bell to you? I know, right? We use them everyday. But did you know that this a very powerful prayer that you can use to heal yourself and others. You don’t have to touch others to heal them but to just say the prayer to yourself AND accepting responsibility of the situation can heal and change the way a situation is or how a person is treating you.
Why take responsibility when it isn’t really your fault? Have you heard of generational curse? It works something similar to that. The dynamics is similar to that. Everything that is happening to us in the present is a result of our ancestors’ actions. In other words, if I may say , ‘karma’ if you believe in that.
The things that you are experiencing right now, is something that your ancestors had done in the past. So in accepting responsibility for the situation, and asking for forgiveness for that, you are able to change the dynamics of the present situation you are in.
I know this sounds kind of woowoo but this is an ancient Hawaiian prayer. The person who re-introduced this to the world was Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len , the doctor who cured every patient in the criminally insane ward of a Hawaii`i State Hospital without even seeing them personally. He just worked on their patient’s records with Hooponopono and the patients just became calm. Dr. Hew Len was a student of Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona, who was recognized as a kahuna lapaʻau in Hawaiʻi and taught her updated version of hoʻoponopono throughout the United States, Asia, and Europe.
There are 2 significant Hooponopono practitioners that worked closely with Dr. Hew Len, Dr. Joe Vitale and Mabel Katz. I took the Hoonopono certification with Dr. Joe Vitale.
So how do you use the prayer? There are four steps :
- Step 1: Repentance – JUST SAY: I’M SORRY. …
- Step 2: Ask Forgiveness – SAY: PLEASE FORGIVE ME. …
- Step 3: Gratitude – SAY: THANK YOU. …
- Step 4: Love – SAY: I LOVE YOU.
This is what you call a cleansing. Dr. Hew Len said that we need to be cleansing all the time. And to do that in a faster way is to just recite ” I’m sorry, please forgive me. Thank you, I love you.” over and over again. Before you do something that’s very important to you, for example, appeasing a person’s anger towards you, you can start cleansing.You don’t have to chant this to them, or say it in their face. You can just do it on your own. Dr. Hew Len would cleanse 4x before he would go and talk to someone.
There are other things about Ho’oponopono than just the prayer. There are tools that you can use to cleanse like the blue solar water. But that needs another whole new post.
I would vouch for the effectivity of this prayer 100%. If you do it the right way, you will find the peace you’ve wanted for so long.
Are you feeling tired most of the time? Do you feel like you’re starting to feel bored with whatever you’re doing now?
We all have those days when we feel like we are losing our own power. While it’s true that we never really lost it, as Angela Basset said in a video message on the Netflix Facebook Page, there are times that we feel like it’s just not there. We feel like it’s not working at all.
And this is due to many reasons. Stress, lack of sleep and just being misaligned with our own self are some of the reasons why we feel that we have lost our groove, or the zest that we have for life. And it is okay. Sometimes, the best thing to do when we are in this period is to be still and contemplate on the recent events that are happening in our lives. This is
when you will see the root cause of it all.
But sometimes we don’t have the luxury of time. We need to have some quick perk-me-ups that should come in handy when these types of emergencies arise. I know that one of the most effective ways to get your groove back on is going to the salon. Ever heard of the saying that a woman changes her hairstyle when she wants to change her life? I guess it is true because
I’ve done that a couple of times.You did that too at some point in your life, right?
I have listed a few things that are sure to help change your mood that you can do when you feel like you’re starting to lose your own power. These perk me ups has not let me down before, as far as I can remember, and they are effective.
So here are things that you can do to get your groove back.
If you have not meditated ever you are missing one of the most effective ways that helps you find your peace. I am not new to meditation, but I can honestly say that I can’t do it on my own. I still need guidance because my mind is always working and even when I am meditating, it doesn’t stop. The purpose of meditation is to be able to be still and be in touch with
the divine being in you, to set intentions, or to just find that calmness that you can’t find in your environment.
So, if you haven’t tried meditation, you might want to try a guided meditation. There are a lot of guided meditations that you can find on YouTube. It is okay if you fall asleep on the first try. Meditation is not just a one-time thing. It is a lifestyle. The more you do it, the more your mind is trained to be still and focus on what you need to focus on.
If you want to bring your meditation practice to the next level, there are guided meditation groups or communities that you can join. You can check them out on Facebook or Google and search one in your area. I was able to join a meditation group here in Makati. They have guided meditation sessions on Thursdays usually after working hours. This is also a nice way of
connecting with people who are in the same journey as you.
There are many ways you can improve yourself and the most important one is education. By improving yourself, you do not just get your groove back, it opens up new things for you to groove on. You can study a new course, join workshops, or just listen to motivational or inspirational podcasts.
Another thing that you can do is to visit your salon or spa. A massage is one of the best gifts you can give your weary body. Pamper yourself. Feel like a queen, like Cleopatra if you will. You can bask in all the milk bath that you want and there’s no one saying no to you. I personally love a good hot stone massage or a whole body massage. Backrubs just have some
calming effect on me.
Again, going back to the saying that a woman changes her hair when she wants to change her life is true. I don’t really know if there’s a scientific explanation for that, but I would say that changing your outer looks changes your perspective. When you look in the mirror, you see a new you.
Do something creative to change your present condition. If you love to sing, dance or paint, now would be a good time to do it. Creativity is a feminine trait. The best thing to do when you feel like you are missing your groove is to align yourself with your femininity.Check out my previous post on how to get back into your femininity.
Creativity of any form is a perk me up. I used to paint and draw when I was still in high school but unfortunately, I didn’t pursue that part of creativity in me. When I started my online career, I poured out my creativity to writing content, poems (a hobby), creating websites and playing with Canva.
If you want to try painting but don’t know where to start, Bob Ross is still the go-to guy. You can check him out on Youtube and there are many video tutorials that you can follow to create your very own first masterpiece. However it turns out, make sure to hang it up on your wall, a reminder of the once-upon-a-time Bob Ross’ moment.
Immersing yourself in arts and crafts is also a great way to get your groove back. There are many types of arts and crafts that you might want to explore such as sewing, macramé, knitting and crocheting, bead-making, candle making, etc.
Sing your heart out! But then of course, you need to find the songs that perks you up not send you into a depressive mode. You know your type of music, but if most of it fell into the category of sad love songs,you may want to avoid those first.Go for more positive and uplifting songs.
Music is the language of our soul. It heals our soul. Singing, in particular, can do more than just listening to music because it
comes directly from inside of us. It is an expression of what our soul wants to be heard.
It doesn’t matter if you can’t carry a tune. Once in a while, stop caring about what others think, remember they are just listening, you are giving them the honor of listening to a musical diva like you.
This is one of the best ways I know that can really get you back on your toes. You don’t need to travel overseas. It could be just going somewhere that you’ve never been before in your area. Visit a museum, connect with culture and the arts. If you have the budget, going to the beach or somewhere exotic can be the best thing you can do for yourself.
Travel alone if you must, but if you are concerned about your safety, travel with a companion that won’t hinder you from enjoying yourself.
A book that I’ve found to be entertaining is How Stella Got Her Groove Back. There was a movie made from the book and it starred none other than my favorite Angela Basset. How she got her groove back? She found her self-worth, and realized that she was still desirable with younger men.
The bottomline is you do the things that you already love and find the time to fall in love with it again. An available ex can come in handy if you wish.
You can check out Skyscanner for affordable airfare.
Exercise is another way of getting your groove back on. Exercise does not only do good things for your physique but also for your mental health. When we exercise, our brain releases hormones that make us feel good. It lowers down our stress-levels. If you have the budget, you can go enroll in a fitness program in your local gym. You can take a sport, hire a coach and just be good with it. Maybe even strive to join a tournament to challenge yourself.
But if you are someone like me, who doesn’t have the luxury of time, and really I am an introvert, Youtube again is my rescue. I do yoga and Yoga with Adrienne is a good way to start. She has a lot of yoga practices from basic to specialized yoga for runners, or just focusing on a certain part of your body.
If you think yoga is easy and won’t let you break a sweat, you are mistaken. I was surprised! Yoga stretches and moves every inch of your body. It helps a lot in your focus too. So if you feel like you are out of alignment with yourself, yoga can help you get back into that alignment.
So again, these are just some of the few things that you can do when you feel like you are losing your power. Remember that while most of this list is focused on the physical aspects, it is also important to do things that take care of your mental health.
Life throws challenges at us in the most unexpected ways. As a woman, one of the biggest heartaches we would ever feel is the loss of a spouse or a loved one or a separation, or divorce. As much as we try to avoid these situations, there really isn’t much that we can do.
No matter how much we try to work on having a loving relationship with our spouses or partners, there are some things that we really can’t control.
We can only control ourselves. We don’t have any control over other people’s feelings and actions, although there are ways where we can influence them into doing the same things we do. But the decision will still come from them alone.
I can totally relate how much pain you could be in right now if you are in the midst of one these life-changing moments. I have been separated and been a single mom for almost seven years. Even when there was no third party involved we still end up separated because of irreconcilable differences.
This has brought me to the conclusion that we were really not meant to grow old together. No matter how much we worked hard for the relationship, we still ended up going our separate ways. He has been married for almost 4 years and has 3 children. So really, we were not meant to be.
I was in denial for about 2 years before I finally accepted the fact that we would never be together. That moment of realization came when he brought his son along with him to visit my children. That was also the moment when I knew I had forgiven him.
So, fast forward to today, I am filled with high hopes that I would once again find love and lead a better life for me and my children. To be able to do this, I am going to embark on another journey to reinventing myself. I want to reinvent myself to be the woman that I am, who I truly am, a feminine high-value woman, who is never afraid of facing some pitfalls and conquering life and love’s challenges.
If you are on the stage of moving on and you’re still unsure of how you will go about making these changes in your life, woman, you gotta reinvent yourself. There’s no other way to do it. We, women, are masters of reinvention.
Men, on the other hand, find it hard to reinvent themselves. According to Mike Robbins, author of Nothing Changes Unless You Do, said that “There’s a unique challenge that a lot of men face. Women are much more flexible and have an ability to adjust and evolve both in life and in business. Whereas, with men who’ve been successful on a certain track, haven’t had to do that quite as much. In a lot of cases, it’s forced upon them. And if it happens later on in their careers or in life, it can be difficult to adjust.”
You as a woman has the power to reinvent yourself. Maybe you just don’t know how and where to start, but once you do, you will be unstoppable at doing things to change your situation.
I’ve reinvented myself for God knows how many times. This is the guide that I use for reinventing myself more than twice.
How will you reinvent yourself?
Education is the best and most powerful way to reinvent yourself. This is empowering yourself at the highest level. What do you want to learn more about? Was there something that hindered you from taking that class, or that course that you’ve wanted to take for so long?
As for me, I will continue my Social Media Academy course, and also retake the Google Adwords Certification course. Another big thing that I wanted to take is to go back to school to finish my degree or take another degree. My friend has told me that instead of taking these short online courses that I have been paying for and not taking so much value, I should try to go back to regular college or University.
At some point, he made sense. If I start now, I would be getting my degree at the soonest possible time and won’t even notice it. Sounds like a good plan. I need to find a good program that would fit my situation.
Follow your passion.
What are you passionate about? What have you always wanted to do that you know that you are so passionate about it? It may not be the one thing that puts food on the table, but at least you get to do something that makes your heart sing and satisfies your soul.
How do you find what you are passionate about? I have written an ebook about how to unleash the passion you have. You can download it here.
I have always wanted to write a book. I started working on it last year but felt stuck at some point. This time I am keen on finishing what I have started. I have already written a lot of chapters, and I am setting a deadline to finish it before Christmas.
Learn to love again.
And by this, it also means learning to trust again. I know that this could be the most difficult thing for you to do especially if your separation involved cheating. I understand that even though that wasn’t the main reason for what happened to us.
Trust is a sacred thing for me. Once someone gained my trust, I give it fully. And I always give people the benefit of the doubt. But once that trust I have on someone is broken, it could never be regained.
Yes, I have trust issues. This is one of the hindrances that I have to finding love. I know that I need to learn how to open my heart once more. But before that happens, I need to work on my trust issues because I know that I would never be truly happy in a relationship when that big factor is missing.
No matter how much we hurt in the past, I choose to be open to love. This does not necessarily mean romantic love. Love is universal. But you know that once you are open your heart to loving others, it increases your chances of finding your true love and life partner. Again this is only applicable when you are ready and went through the stage of moving on.
Are you ready to open your heart again to love?
So there it is. Those are just some of the ways on how you reinvent yourself. Noticed that I did not mention anything about changing physical appearance? It is because reinvention is not changing your physical look or what people see you with their eyes, but it is more about changing the things that people see in you with their hearts.
Do you feel disconnected with your authentic self ?
My life has been all work these past few months. I feel like I have no more time to spare for the things that I love to do most, like blogging in this space.
I miss the days when I can freely write my thoughts without the fear of hurting or turning off people. I miss the days when I could just write without following certain rules for SEO or for anything else. When you write for work, your opinion does not matter, but what your client or client’s audience wanted.
I love writing, and I believe that this is what I was born to do.
As a writer, I have worn many hats. Writing is simply not taking in an idea and spin words around it. For me, you have to immerse yourself in that world, whatever it is that you are writing about. You connect yourself to your subject, so it’s like living what you are writing about. In my case, when I connect with my subject, I find it easier to write about it.
A friend asked me how I can write an article in just a few hours, or spin a podcast into an article. I told him that, if there are people who can play guitar just by listening to the music, then that’s basically how I write. It’s talent, man, talent. 🙂
On a serious note, I realized that sometimes, I immerse myself more into a particular subject than I do with others, and that’s where it gets challenging for me because I find myself disconnected from my truth. So occasionally, I need to go back to this space, where I can write freely, to gain back that balance and realign myself with my truth.
The world can be just whatever we imagine it to be. That’s why I find it important to be able to connect with your authenticity all the time, especially when you are in a world where everyone believes in the idea of “fake it till you make it.” Yes, it could somehow be some sort of a motivation for you, but at the end of the day, it will just make you feel exhausted.
That is why I sometimes need to step back and see my life from afar as if I am a spectator of my own life. If you know me on a deeper level, you’d know that there are times that I really disconnect myself from others. That is because I am trying to re-connect with myself.
And I know that many of you hustling are somehow feeling disconnected from your truth.
Why is connecting to your truth important?
Because you only live once.
Do you not want to live your life the way you really wanted it to be? The most that people at their deathbed regretted was not living the life they wanted. I don’t want to be that. I don’t want that to be you, either.
You should always go back to your truth, connect with your authentic self.
How do you know when you are disconnected from your truth?
Here are some of the signs to look out for:
1. You feel like you have to lie all the time.
Obviously, you are not living your truth. This applies to all aspect of your life. Unless you are a pathological liar, when you are trying to live a life that does not really show you for who you really are, that would bring the biggest headache for you. One lie can lead to another lie. You know that you need to sustain that lie, and that is difficult to do. Even the best liar in the world would slip up at some point.
It is only a matter of time that your secret will divulge itself.
2. You are not operating at your own pace.
Not everyone is born to hustle. Some are born to work with grace. Men, I believe are more into the hustling thing, but for us women, I say that we operate better when we do it with grace. Sometimes you need to be careful with the people you want to emulate. How they go through their life and work may not give you as much success as it did for them. Operating at a pace that is not accepted by your system will leave you feeling burnt-out. Find your own pace. Each one of us has our own time to shine.
3. You lack a sense of fulfillment even with a successful career.
Most of us are working for the sake of earning. The needs and the responsibility we have for our families sometimes overpower what we really want to do with our career and life in general. I have heard of many stories where they sacrifice their hopes and dreams to be able to provide better for their family. Let the dream live. You may sacrifice it for a period of time, but do not abandon it. The time will come that you will have the resources to pursue your personal dream.
I remember the story about the 60 yr old man who finally passed the bar exams. It isn’t about getting to practice or to earn anymore. It is more about achieving a goal and making the dream come true. Lucky are those who are earning from something they are already passionate about.
So now, if you’re not really living your true self, you need to realign with your truth. It is only when you are in alignment with your purpose in life that you will find fulfillment, ease of life, and pure happiness.